However I make claims on this is not love

We all want to be loved, and not just for one moment, but always being loved.

It's hard, or almost always impossible, to be always loved.

So I tried, try to make sure I never get loved, so I don't experience it first and spend the rest of my life living in the memory, to find any proxy or replacement, but potentially pathetically never find the one.

So I make claims, I am never loved.

I feel safe that way.